So you easily get stressed and overwhelmed by stuff. I’d know, because I do too. Sometimes, when things are too busy, you have too much to do, and your children are all calling you at the same time, you feel like your head is going to explode. The mental load feels heavy, and you can’t hear yourself think. Are you this Mum? Then read on, because I have a feeling you’ll enjoy this blog.
You’re a doer and a ‘bad delegator’
You get stuff done. And you get huge satisfaction from crossing things off your to-do list. You feel it’s a lot quicker for you to do stuff yourself than to walk others through the process. Because you don’t just want to tell them what to do. Your natural tendency is to tell them how to do it too. But instead of nagging people, which you don’t think is cool, you just do it all yourself. This is how you roll – at work/in your business and at home.
You’re driven and ambitious
You’re not just a doer – you’re a high-achiever too. This was trued back in your school days, but it’s been true throughout your career as well. You do well. You don’t like half-measures. When you do something, you try and do it to the best of your abilities. There’s no halfway. And there’s no point in even doing things if you’re not going to give them your all, is there? You just want to do well – in the small things as well as the big things. When you commit to a ‘job’ (whether it’s in your professional or personal life), you want to do it well. This makes you trustworthy and reliable, and you like people to know they can rely on you to do the best job you can do in any given circumstance.
You are a bit of a perfectionist
This follows from the point above, really. You know you’re capable, and you want to do well. The flip side of this is that you may find it hard to accept making mistakes (whether it’s your own or other people’s) and not having the chance or the time to do things as you feel they should be done. You’ve been relying on being a doer and achiever for such a huge part of your life, that you put yourself under a great amount of pressure to achieve the same high standards in everything you do. In other words, you show perfectionist tendencies. For you, it’s not just about how much you do – it’s also about how well you do it, how quickly you do it, or how efficient and organised you can demonstrate to be in the process!
Your mental load is huge
So you’re a doer, a high-achiever and a perfectionist. You struggle to delegate to others because you’d like things done in a certain way (your way?), but nagging and moaning aren’t cool, so you just put whatever-it-is on your to-do list and sort it out yourself.
Your mental load just get heavier and heavier. Invisible to others, even the ones closest to you, sometimes you can feel like it’s starting to squash you. You add to it, and you add to it. You can take it, right? But things add up, especially the little things, and you end up feeling agitated and frazzled. Overwhelmed.
Because you’re not just going about your day. You’re also trying to remember. To not forget a million other things. And there are so many that they get tangled. The big, important ones end up weighing the same as the smallest, insignificant ones. The bigger picture disappears. And for the sake of getting that mental load a little lighter, you get the easiest, smallest and quickest things done first. Just so they can be gone. And you can get some breathing space back.
You have a tendency to be very self-critical
Well, no surprise there, right? We’ve established by now that you’re super-capable and self-driven. But because you put yourself under so much pressure to always do the best you can do in anything you do, you end up feeling frustrated with yourself when you don’t meet your own personal criteria for success. When you even remotely think you may be ‘failing’ or falling behind, or doing something that’s not perfect, you tend to criticise yourself badly. And frankly, you’re quite a lot harsher to yourself than you’d ever be to any other human being!
You can give in to self-limiting beliefs
Because of how self-critical you can be, if you’re not careful, you can easily fuel conversations in your head that will lead you to believe that ‘you’re losing your touch’, ‘you’re being weak or lazy’, or that ‘you’re not good enough’. None of this is true, mind you. And no one else would ever even dream or saying or thinking something like that about you!
But you? In your mind, it’s a bit like everything you’ve ever done well in life doesn’t matter if you’ve done this one thing wrong. Self-doubt takes over, and your confidence gets shattered.
Related post: 3 ways to improve your self-confidence.
You have a hard time letting go of control
“Accept and let go of the things you cannot control”.
Ha, we’ve all heard that saying, haven’t we? And yes, it’s true. But how easy (or not!) is it to do? Because you’ve been so used to having that control, to being in control of what you could do and achieve in your life (be it your studies or your career, for example) that you’re not really that equipped to deal with what happens when you don’t have that control…
Does this post ring any bells? Letting go – how trying to be in control makes for stressful parenting.
Parenting is a prime example.
You’ve probably done everything you could to prepare. To get ready to become a mum. But, in reality, we all set off on this parenthood journey feeling a bit unprepared. Becuase your beautiful children are their own people with their own beautiful personalities and traits. And you may or may not instinctively know how to relate to them – how to be the mum they need. So you may not get it right all the time. And we know what happens when you think you’re not doing something at the best of your ability…
You have a tendency to put yourself last
With so much to do, with your family relying on you, and the wish to do all things in the best possible way, there’s no time to waste. After all, you’re strong. You’re resilient. You’re fine the way you are, aren’t you? You can keep going and you can plough through. That’s what you do. That’s what’s so good about you.
You don’t need to ‘take time out’ from being a mum. Because being a mum is your new job now. You may have another one too, but being Mum is probably the most important one of all. So you’re going to give it your all and push through exhaustion or whatever else, right?
And do you know what all this makes you?
And very much like me.
So can we share a virtual hug, please? I think I need it. Maybe you need it too?
Because being who we are makes us very efficient and reliable people. But it also makes us very prone to feeling stressed, frazzled, and overwhelmed. We simply take things (ALL things) very very seriously. And that’s not a bad thing, at all. But it means we need to be careful. We need to watch our mental load. We need to look after ourselves. It’s our duty – not just towards ourselves but our families too.
I certainly don’t stand here on a pedestal telling you I have it all figured out. I stand here over a year into a journey where I’ve been trying to work on who I am to make mindful and intentional changes to my life as a mum. There are definitely ways, for people like you and I, to feel less stressed and overwhelmed on a daily basis. To discover a little more about ourselves, accept it, embrace it, and use it our advantage.
If you can relate, why don’t you download my FREE ebook:
“Intentional Living for Mums – overcome overwhelm, ditch the auto-pilot, stop ‘surviving’ and start living a more purposeful life”?
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